I'm sure it was a carryover for me of how I had been feeling since September 11. I was literally over¬whelmed. I had a real sense of God calling me to go to New York and this was confirmed over and over again as all the details were worked out and the doors opened to enable me to work as a volun¬teer. The Red Cross made Ardelle, Ethel and I temporary members of the American Red Cross and we were accepted as members of the Spiritual Air Immediate Response (SAIR) team-the spiritual arm of the Red Cross that responds to air disasters. Acceptance by both these organizations, based on credentials, training, ordination and expe¬rience, made it possible to work in all areas-including ground zero.

It is hard to find words to describe ground zero. The reality of the devastation is beyond anything I could have imagined. Reality is so much different from the images on television. Perhaps because it is so real-the dust, the stench, the noise, the boot washing, the hand washing and even the truck washing as they moved from place to place. But through it all, it was the people who touched me the most. Amidst their terrible losses and grief, the apprecia¬tion was abundant and openly expressed. Appreciation and surprise that people cared enough to come to help. Thank you, thank you for coming. Thank you for being here. Thank you for all you do. Thank you for caring. At the subway, a young man handed me a US flag made out of pins and simply said, "Here, Chaplain, this is for you. Thank you for all you do." I had never seen him before.

He just knew I was a Red Cross Disaster Chaplain. That simple gesture touched me deeply. It is truly in giving that we receive.

I gained a deeper appreciation for the Red Cross in how they are able to move in and organize in so many areas to assist with disasters. It was a privilege to work with them. The SAIR team wanted to offi¬cially train us as SAIR members but since we are not Americans that was not possible. It is, however, something that I will look closely at. What is the need for such an organization here in Canada? Would it be beneficial and perhaps provide a way in which we could further serve in subsequent disasters? Some follow up is needed there for sure.

As I read my diary and reflect on what I can share, I am aware of knowing that in the space of the two and a half weeks I was in New York, I was privileged to be invited into the sacred spaces of those I went to help. A clerical collar allows one to step into the holy ground of others and with that in mind I am aware of the sacredness of the experiences that were not mine and yet I became a part of them.